Reads

  • Confessions of an Instagrammer #13

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    We all need the sun in order to shine. Lately, my energy dropped. I’ve been sleeping a lot. I’ve been awfully quiet and if you know me, that’s not right. I just find myself waking up each day waiting for the day to end. And to sleep. And indulge myself with boundless dreams. And yes after watching Inside Out, I could relate more with Sadness.

    This sudden shift of emotion is a mystery to me until finally one morning, it sunk in that I lost my sun. Or at least I’m avoiding him. That great ball of fire that lights up my day. That star that I will never have. I lost my sun and I lost my light.

    Sorry Cristina Yang. I’m not the sun. He is.

    SunMissed the sun. #TBT

  • Confessions of an Instagrammer #12

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    No matter how nice you get, people will still treat you differently.  

    Well, maybe not always always. But we all know the feeling of being left out. Being the last one to be picked for a team in a game of patintero. Walking quickly so your friends would catch up with you, but they don’t. Walking slowly so your officemates can catch up with you, but you’re still left walking alone. No one liking your posts on social media. Petty, but understandable. You were the odd man out. Always on the outside looking in. And you can’t do anything but endure the burning in your eyes, on your face, to your ears, and down to your neck. Because you feel out of place. Because you feel different.

    It’s an awful feeling, I know. I have friends who I do treat as close or perhaps best friends. But I don’t get the same treatment back. I know that I should not expect that they’d care for me the way I do. Expectations ruin things but there are valid ones. Right? To consider a friend, a friend, he has to treat you like one. Right?

    I didn’t know that friendship, like love, can be unrequited too. And it hurts as much.

    Friendship is not as unconditional as a mother’s love. You can only give so much. You give and you give and you give. Before you know it and before you’d stop. You won’t be able to recognize yourself anymore.

    Because I was treated differently, I became different. I became indifferent.

    IMG_0931.JPGI’m not broken.

  • In Defense of Steven Silva

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    As a fan of Steven Silva for a few years now, I feel the need to address GMA Artist Center‘s (Steven’s management for the past few years) statement in turn addressing Steven’s sentiment about his being a GMA talent. Steven has been under GMA Network and GMA Artist Center for the last five years. He won as the Ultimate Male Survivor for the 5th batch of the reality artista search Starstruck.

    It’s unfair that GMAAC is putting Steven in a bad light by implicitly describing him as unappreciative for his career. The statement is uncalled for and harsh. Steven is thankful for what he has been given, but at the same time, he is disappointed with the way his career has been going. He wants to do more, but he isn’t given the opportunity to do so.

    GMAAC even says that they have given Steven many opportunities. That is probably true, but those opportunities are probably not the right ones for his career. Ask a random stranger on the streets of Manila what projects Steven has been in. Sadly, you might not get an answer, as they would probably, and again sadly, have forgotten who Steven is (aside from Kapuso and theatre fans) less so his projects. This is because Steven was given projects that were not up his alley. I know he is very passionate about his music and singing career. Did they give Steven an album under GMA Records? No. Instead they made him one of the regular dancers in their Sunday noontime show, from SOP up to Sunday All Stars. And I think this goes for all the artists under GMAAC’s roster. GMAAC should evaluate their talents and give them the proper projects to hone their talents more. Career planning is what’s needed.

    Nonetheless, even though GMAAC has not given Steven projects for the past few months, it’s good that he has been keeping himself busy. He found his calling in musical theatre, and has been part of 3 theatrical productions so far, the latest being the successful Philippine staging of La Cage aux Folles (which is going to have a rerun soon :D). As Jean-Michel, I have seen Steven’s growth throughout the years, from the first time I saw him on Starstruck. I’m also happy that he’s been doing TV shows by way of TV5, something that GMA and its Artist Center can’t give him right now.

    I’m proud to be a Steven Silva fan, and I support him in whatever he does next. 🙂

    Read the full statements for both sides here:

  • That Thing Called Tadhana with Sid Lucero

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    That’s me with Sid Lucero after watching PETA‘s Arbol de Fuego last March 15. This was one of the few surreal moments of meeting actors in real life. It made my body literally shiver like I was vertically thousands of feet away from the ground on top of Mt. Pulag. I was supposed to take pictures with the actual cast members: Cherie Gil, Bembol Roco and Raffy Tejada (one of my basic acting weekend workshop facilitators) among others. Unfortunately and fortunately while waiting, I saw Sid outside. I was hesitant at first but the adrenaline of the that week just kept on coming. I decided to take the chance and just do it. I asked him for a photo and he didn’t hear me so I tapped his shoulder. Out of nervousness, I just posed for the camera even if he wasn’t ready. He saw the camera and said: “Oh.. Okay.” Hahahaha AWKWARD.

    My friend was using my phone but for some reason the shots were too exposed. She asked us to change positions hoping that it’d solve the problem (it didn’t but good thing it didn’t, I really like the effect). We posed but my friend was having a hard time adjusting the focus of the camera so it was really an awkward couple of minutes. Sid put his arm on my should and I started shaking. He felt it and said “You’re shaking, man.”. I died (and wished that the earth’d swallow me whole).

    I’ve been watching Sid since Etheria (Encantadia’s prequel) and I’ve always admired his acting skills. This was quite an experience. Looking forward for more celebrity encounters. Watch out! I’m going to post my other “celebrity encounters” in the future. 🙂

    Side-note:  Arbol de Fuego was so nice. The performances were great. I’ve never seen a straight play that had more than four characters. Everybody brought something to the table and the script sounded natural considering it was in English, Spanish, Tagalog and Ilonggo. The overall theme of the play was all about letting go. Being less attached to the past to embrace the gifts of tomorrow.

  • Confessions of an Instagrammer #11

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    Meeting new people can be both frightening and exciting.

    It’s scary to put myself out there pretending not to hear all their judgments or using a less harsh term, first impressions. To stand there in my best clothes, in my straightest stance. Smiling but not too wide. Just a smirk to show the dimple on my right cheek. Overthinking every word that comes out of my mouth, thinking each will make or break my chances of building a relationship I can finally call mine.

    Well, I always put my best foot forward in everything. Meeting new friends included. And even more if I like someone. I share every exciting detail of my life (and maybe exaggerate them a bit) just to keep that someone interested. Just to keep him asking questions. Just to keep the conversations going. Just to keep him wanting more for tomorrow. Wanting more from me.

    The idea of starting a blank page in a stranger’s life gives me the butterflies in my stomach. The beautiful glittery kind not the moth-looking ones. This gives me hope that this person will finally treat me right. The way I want to be treated. The way I’m ought to be treated. Thinking that this may have been the Cinderella moment I’ve been waiting for. The reward for being too kind.

    Just this time and just like every other time, I stand there thinking this may just actually work. Maybe, he’ll be the one. Otherswise, I’ll have to start all over again.

    Life is a cycle of trials and errors. You just have to keep trying until you get the right answer. #thoughts